How to create those special moments instead of waiting for them

       

Learn what makes those "special moments"

and how to create them

Remember a moment in life that you wanted to last forever.

It felt like a different dimension. Even the usual objects seemed special and beautiful, you saw the lights and the shadows in ways like never before. You could sense your pores breathing and every cell in your body alive. 

It could be as short as a kiss or a warm hug. Or maybe slightly longer, like a walk in the forest in perfect peace with yourself, or seeing someone beloved for the last time in a very long time. Times like that you’ll never forget: nothing exists, there’s nothing else you want other than that special moment. That intense presence. That level of being awake in all of your senses, body and mind.

I do hope you know what I mean, or if you don’t, I hope that you’ll find out soon. 

Because this is the experience we’re ultimately after. 

And we want no hopeless love, nor painful goodbyes to feel like this. And you know what else we don’t want? We don’t want to spend thousands of dull, exhausting hours for one flash second like that! Spending the majority of our lives halfway sleeping in constant negotiation with ourselves, knowing deep down that life could be so much more real, so much more different. 

We don’t want to live life always waiting for something, always wanting to be somewhere else, always in fear of missing out… just to look back and see that’s exactly what we’ve done, missed out: on everything that’s precious, things and people we loved, the potential in us to be discovered, used and shown… 

We want those moments to last. To build up our lives. To show us how far we could get, how much we would be capable of if only we dared to focus our attention upon the treasures each moment holds. 

But is this really possible? Can you really live every moment like that?

Well, let me quote Henry Ford’s famous words here: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Bizarre as it might sound, it’s often us who keep these moments away with certain beliefs, such as:

  1. if they occurred more often they weren’t so special;     
  2. only rare coincidental events, like “when there’s an equinox, a super-moon and a total eclipse together, while fireworks are being sent to the air” can be considered as a “special moment” (meaning: you’re waiting for something so HUGE that you constantly miss the everyday miracles of life).
  3. too much “anything” is boring;
  4. this must be like drugs: as I get “hooked’ I’ll need to do more and more to get the same experience

While these are “only” beliefs, they certainly have the power to turn the intensity of your experiences up or down. If any of the above rang a bell for you, I challenge you to ask yourself: what if it’s not true? What if I can feel intensely present OFTEN, AND not only appreciate it still, but also never get bored with it? What if the tiniest, most mundane moment holds the biggest treasure? What if it doesn’t take much to achieve and maintain this state of mind?

Once you’re left with no limiting beliefs to block you from a life that feels more “yours”, there’s still some important things to bear in mind:

Some things that "suck you up" like a black hole are only fake experiences. 

I have no problem with Netflix and social media, but I’m sure you know the difference between the way some real art or doing some exercise, or scrolling your phone for the same length makes you feel. It’s tricky, because these things create a fake sense of presence, when in fact all they do is keep you away from the moment. Try to keep these influences to the minimum.

Choose mindfully which moment you WANT to give your full attention to

Mindfulness is an awesome technique. It really is. It’s a great way to dose some digestible portions of Buddhism into the hectic western life. My only problem with this is that it’s not trying to be particularly selective. The main message is: whatever you do, wherever you are, just BE THERE with your whole presence. I tried it and it works: it turns sitting on a bus or the doctor’s waiting room into an almost spiritual experience. BUT as I got to a more advanced level I found my days to be spent in blissful presence and going with the flow, but I somewhat lost sight of my purpose, things and people important to me and, by letting go of control, I also let go of my power of creation. So here’s the thing: first set your intentions. Choose wisely what you want to spend your precious time on. Make sure your choices match your values and reflect your priorities. Then be disciplined and stick with the plan. Then and only then: put all your focus on the moments created like this. 

Be there, with your full attention, exclude everything else. Feel, enjoy, experience. Discover every angle, every raze of light, every sensation. Allow it to be what it is. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to last forever. 

As long as you know that you made an authentic choice, it will be a moment you will want to turn into a sequence of experiences you can happily call your life. 

That’s it for now, I hope you found this article useful and inspiring. If so, please share it with others as well. 

Oh, one last thing: As you might have already heard, I’m preparing to do a 30 day-long authenticity challenge which is designed to help redefining our values and aligning our actions for more balance, inner peace and integrity. I invite you to participate and grab your free downloadable DISCOVER WHAT TRULY MATTERS FOR YOU playsheet which you can find at the end of this blog article, and is the preparation exercise for the upcoming challenge. 

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